my feet

isaiah 50:11

But if all you’re after is making trouble, playing with fire, go ahead and see where it gets you. Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames, but don’t expect me to just stand there and watch. I’ll hold your feet to those flames.

being in leadership has been amazing. i have no doubt that YOU have created me for the things that i am doing. but this was unsettling when i read these words yesterday morning at 4:30ish. YOU were showing me that i am stirring people up. the people that look to me for leadership, i am causing them to think and question and pontificate, but not to act. and where i am is where it has gotten me. where i am is surrounded by thoughts, questions, ideas, dreams, doubts, regrets, and no actions beyond those that have been comfortable from day 1. and it is true of those that i lead as well. and i can blow on the flames all i want, but it doesn’t matter if actions are ever, ever, ever manifested in those that i lead if there is no action in my own life. YOU are holding my feet to the fire. the motivation in the things i teach are not simply to spur others on. it must be about the effect that is real in my life. if YOUR words aren’t affecting my heart, which affects my mind, which affects my actions, then leadership is dead. if a blind man leads the blind, then both will fall into a pit. YOU are not done with me. and i couldn’t be more excited about what that means. thank YOU for still wanting me, loving me, pursuing me today.

my price

isaiah 43:1-3

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you

as i think about all the places life could take me, i can’t think of better words to have written on my heart than these.  thank YOU for these words.  i will memorize them and tell them to myself as often as i need reminding that i have been bought, and the price was huge.

my backwards.

isaiah 42:18-25

Pay attention! Are you deaf? Open your eyes! Are you blind? You’re my servant, and you’re not looking! You’re my messenger, and you’re not listening! The very people I depended upon, servants of God, blind as a bat—willfully blind! You’ve seen a lot, but looked at nothing. You’ve heard everything, but listened to nothing. God intended, out of the goodness of his heart, to be lavish in his revelation. But this is a people battered and cowed, shut up in attics and closets, victims licking their wounds, feeling ignored, abandoned. But is anyone out there listening? Is anyone paying attention to what’s coming? Who do you think turned Jacob over to the thugs, let loose the robbers on Israel? Wasn’t it God himself, this God against whom we’ve sinned— not doing what he commanded, not listening to what he said? Isn’t it God’s anger that’s behind all this, God’s punishing power? Their whole world collapsed but they still didn’t get it; their life is in ruins but they don’t take it to heart.

this feels backwards. i know that it’s true. i feel that it is true.  everything about it.  growing up in the church, i would say that much of what is done to christendom in america is blamed on the heathens (druggies, rapists, homosexuals, democrats, etc.).  jacob was YOUR boy.  YOU chose him.  isreal is YOURS, and YOU let the robbers in.  YOU wanted them to get it.  YOU were willing to let their whole world collapse around them to set them straight and they still had more selfishness in them than obedience.

wherever i am ignorant, correct me.  open my eyes and my ears.  tune me to what is coming so i can pay attention.  ruin me so i can take heart.

my imitation

isaiah 40:23-24

He ignores what all the princes say and do. The rulers of the earth count for nothing. Princes and rulers don’t amount to much. Like seeds barely rooted, just sprouted, they shrivel when God blows on them. Like flecks of chaff, they’re gone with the wind.

i don’t remember the last time this verse was quoted at a National Day of Prayer, but it is a good reminder. I don’t want to work for anything in life that doesn’t matter for reals. Like for really reals. As cool as it sounds to be honored and revered and important enough to be made fun of on SNL, i hope that YOU don’t ignore what i say and do. let me take the humble path. let me be the servant. let me imitate YOUR son. let me not be fooled by celebrity. let me actively find ways to make myself less, give the advantage away and matter in YOUR kingdom rather than this world that shrivels at YOUR breath.

my shantytowns

isaiah 28:17

I’ll make justice the measuring stick and righteousness the plumb line for the building. A hailstorm will knock down the shantytown of lies, and a flash flood will wash out the rubble.

point me toward the chances i have today, the opportunities, the divine appointments for justice and righteousness.  help me to see the lies that have created shantytowns in my life.  i want to tear them down myself.  i give them up.  i don’t want to wait for the hailstorm.  for the flash flood.  i want to tear them down and get rid of the rubble.  don’t let me settle for less than what is just.  for less than what is right.  convict me.  direct me.  have YOUR way in me.

so i’ll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the ONE who gave it all
so i’ll stand
my soul LORD to YOU surrendered
all i am is YOURS
-Hillsong United

my attention

isaiah 26:10-12

If the wicked are shown grace, they don’t seem to get it. In the land of right living, they persist in wrong living, blind to the splendor of God. You hold your hand up high, God, but they don’t see it. Open their eyes to what you do, to see your zealous love for your people. Shame them. Light a fire under them. Get the attention of these enemies of yours. God, order a peaceful and whole life for us because everything we’ve done, you’ve done for us.

my temptation is to read this as if i know eactly who it is written to, those heathen/pagan type.  but when i honestly look at what is being said, i’m afraid it is written to me.  please let me get it.  i know YOU’ve shown me grace.  please, let me get it.  when YOU hold up YOUR hand, let me see it.  open my eyes to what YOU do.  don’t let me ask YOU why YOU love people that i don’t like.  ask me why i don’t love them.  shame me.  light a fire under me.  get my attention.  order a peaceful and whole life for me.  because everything i’ve done, YOU’ve done for me.  let me see YOUR hand as YOU hold it up high today.  let me in on YOUR zealous love for YOUR people.

my pride

isaiah 25:11-12

Thrash away as they will, like swimmers trying to stay afloat, they’ll sink in the sewage. Their pride will pull them under. Their famous fortifications will crumble to nothing, those mighty walls reduced to dust.

sometimes, this is how i feel.  the whole first sentence. like it is taking everything i’ve got just to stay afloat.  just not to sink into the sewage.  and the thing that is causing me to sink, the thing that will pull me under is pride.  it’s so dangerous.  i’ve treated pride as if it’s not a good thing, but honestly, i’ve never felt like it would end me.  thank YOU for showing me that pride will do exactly that.  it will end me.  search my heart and find anywhere that i take credit, that i boast or revel in praise.  it’s not mine.  it’s YOURS.  nothing good will come of it for me.  the feel good moments are fake and fleeting, and they can’t compare with YOU.

my ears

isaiah 24:14-16

But there are some who will break into glad song. Out of the west they’ll shout of God’s majesty. Yes, from the east God’s glory will ascend. Every island of the sea will broadcast God’s fame, the fame of the God of Israel. From the four winds and the seven seas we hear the singing: “All praise to the Righteous One!”

my ears can’t hear it, but my heart can.  i long to hear everything coming together to sing these words.  there is something about singing, especially when there are a lot of voices together, and i can barely imagine what it will be like for the humans to sing with the angels, and the oceans to sing with the winds, and all of it is to glorify YOU.  but i want to hear that sound.  i don’t think there could be anything as compelling as being a part of that choir.  what am i doing today that points everyone to YOU?  allow me to recognize when i am the one that is stopping it, let me lay myself down, and redeem my motives, change my heart, that i might worship YOU with every part of my being and actions.  all praise to the RIGHTEOUS ONE!

my plans

isaiah 22:8-11

God has left Judah exposed and defenseless. You assessed your defenses that Day, inspected your arsenal of weapons in the Forest Armory. You found the weak places in the city walls that needed repair. You secured the water supply at the Lower Pool. You took an inventory of the houses in Jerusalem and tore down some to get bricks to fortify the city wall. You built a large cistern to ensure plenty of water. You looked and looked and looked, but you never looked to him who gave you this city, never once consulted the One who has long had plans for this city.

this is it.  i can identify needs left and right.  up and down.  needs.  needs.  needs.  and some of them i can muster up the strength to meet.  and for some of the needs i can rally enough troops to get the job done.  but that isn’t what GOD wants.  at least look to HIM.  is it that difficult.  HE has plans for this city.  if you don’t know where i live, oroville is a sad, sad city.  hopeless, some might say.  and no matter how hard i, or any group of people try, it’s not going to get better.  the same is true of my own life.  there are parts that are sad and hopeless.  and GOD has a plan.  has long had plans for it.

today, i consult YOU.  what do YOU want me to do personally and professionally?  how do YOU want me to act?  if YOU have a plan for my attitude, that’s what i am going with.  my plans just don’t work out.

a memory

isaiah 18:4

For here’s what God told me: “I’m not going to say anything, but simply look on from where I live, Quiet as warmth that comes from the sun, silent as dew during harvest.”

this reminds me of a worship gathering i was at a few weeks ago.  maybe it was a couple months.  anyway, i was on my face and there was this sense of impending doom.  there had been at last four or five really intense worship experiences prior to that one, and i couldn’t have put these words to it at the time, but these definitely describe my feeling at that moment.  it was as if HE was asking me if the emotions were gone, if it wasn’t intense, if everything felt a little forced, if i couldn’t feel HIM, would i still worship him? if HE was quiet as warmth, would i still follow HIM?  if HE was silent as dew, would i still give my life to bring glory to a GOD that isn’t saying anything, just looking on?  the answer is yes.  i would still have no other reason to live.