the difference between favor and comfort

genesis 37-50

i just re-read the story of joseph in genesis in the message.  i am struck with the fact that joseph’s life was awesome.  incredible.  not boring.  he did things.  and YOU got all the credit.  it was clear that YOUR favor was on joseph.  part of me wants that.  i want YOUR favor, but when i read about joseph, i have problems with it.  i want favor to equal comfort, but it doesn’t, and more than i want that, i want YOU to renew my mind.  i want YOU to teach me the truth.  i want YOUR favor.  YOUR true favor.  regardless of the comfort level that may follow.

joseph was thrown in a hole in the ground, dragged out, sold into slavery, falsely accused of attempted rape, found guilty, thrown in prison, used by YOU to interpret dreams, gave you the glory, and still spent 2 more years before that provided him an out, and then he was put in leadership.  we don’t do these things.  we go to conferences and read books and blogs to be ‘better’ leaders.  we want to follow YOU almost as much as we want to be comfortable.  i have found my self trusting in chariots and horses (money, walls, self defense, my intelligence, homeland security, good debt, etc.).  teach me to trust in YOUR name.  remake me, my mind, my will, my heart, my life.

YOUR day

isaiah 58:13-14

“If you watch your step on the Sabbath and don’t use my holy day for personal advantage, if you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy, God’s holy day as a celebration, if you honor it by refusing ‘business as usual,’ making money, running here and there— then you’ll be free to enjoy God!

YOUR holy day. YOURS. not mine. i was tempted to write a title like my sabbath or my something, but it was wrong. YOU have an agenda with me. and on this day. once a week. it is to rest. to do nothing to further/better/advance my self, or my family, or my business, or my income, or my errands, or my anything… except for my enjoyment of YOU. advance in my celebration of YOU. rest in the joy of YOU. the joy of my salvation which was given to me on no merit of my own effort, no matter how many days a week i worked to earn it. YOU dancing over me. me enjoying YOU.

do i ever slow down enough for this?  am i running seven days a week with the tasks and the ladders and the goals and the intersections and the decisions based entirely on my own understanding?

do i trust YOU enough to take a day off from me once a week?

my seriousness.

isaiah 57:9-12

You send scouts to search out the latest in religion, send them all the way to hell and back. You wear yourselves out trying the new and the different, and never see what a waste it all is. You’ve always found strength for the latest fad, never got tired of trying new religions. “Who talked you into the pursuit of this nonsense, leaving me high and dry, forgetting you ever knew me? Because I don’t yell and make a scene, do you think I don’t exist? I’ll go over, detail by detail, all your ‘righteous’ attempts at religion, and expose the absurdity of it all.

how often is that dead on: because YOU don’t yell and make a scene, i get to thinking that YOU don’t exist. that YOU aren’t around. like YOU are limited to a feeling that i get when the worship band is really good. and when i don’t get the feeling, i get all butt hurt like YOU owe me YOUR presence.

what if when i die, when YOU go over, detail by detail, all my ‘righteous’ attempts at religion, what if that is in real time.  i always figured that YOU would point out some key moments or something, but i think i’m probably wrong.  what if YOU and me just stand there and walk through my life, only this time, i don’t get to act, just give an account for what YOU gave me.  what if it’s just as long as life is right now? what if i started to live life like i would have to give an account to you for why i did what i did when i did it, and when i knew in my soul that YOUR HS was calling me to move in a certain direction – that in eternity i will have to stand side by side with YOUR nail scarred hand only inches away from mine, or on my shoulder with YOUR arm around me, and tell you why i did or didn’t do what YOU called me to.  when i see the evidence with my eyes, and feel the scars with my hands, when i can see clearly exactly what YOU did for me, will i only then start to see what i should do for YOU? or is it possible in this life to truly take my eyes off of my self, and my wants, and my hurt feelings, and my pouty lip, and my sin, and on to YOU, and YOUR love, and YOUR life, and YOUR movement, and YOUR grace, and YOUR mercy, and YOUR heart, and YOUR infiltration of this world, and YOUR kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven?

i don’t want to be dead before i start taking YOU seriously.

my overlooking

isaiah 53:3-5

He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!

i just had this thought. i mean, i’ve read/heard this passage more times than i could remember, but this other stuff connects, and this may be wrong, but just go with me for a second.

so, our sins were why HE suffered, why HE knew pain, why people would turn away, why we looked down on HIM, why we thought HE was scum.  it’s our fault and our sins that did that to HIM.  now fast forward into the new testament when JESUS tells us that what we do to the least of these, we are doing to HIM.

now track with me here, what if we saw people that were down and out.  people that we would look over, turn away from.  people that are suffering, that know pain first hand.  people that we think they are scum, whether or not we would ever actually say it.  what if we treated them as if our sins had done that to them, and we have the chance to serve them instead of over looking them.  maybe that would be what HE calls love.

my feet

isaiah 50:11

But if all you’re after is making trouble, playing with fire, go ahead and see where it gets you. Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames, but don’t expect me to just stand there and watch. I’ll hold your feet to those flames.

being in leadership has been amazing. i have no doubt that YOU have created me for the things that i am doing. but this was unsettling when i read these words yesterday morning at 4:30ish. YOU were showing me that i am stirring people up. the people that look to me for leadership, i am causing them to think and question and pontificate, but not to act. and where i am is where it has gotten me. where i am is surrounded by thoughts, questions, ideas, dreams, doubts, regrets, and no actions beyond those that have been comfortable from day 1. and it is true of those that i lead as well. and i can blow on the flames all i want, but it doesn’t matter if actions are ever, ever, ever manifested in those that i lead if there is no action in my own life. YOU are holding my feet to the fire. the motivation in the things i teach are not simply to spur others on. it must be about the effect that is real in my life. if YOUR words aren’t affecting my heart, which affects my mind, which affects my actions, then leadership is dead. if a blind man leads the blind, then both will fall into a pit. YOU are not done with me. and i couldn’t be more excited about what that means. thank YOU for still wanting me, loving me, pursuing me today.

my price

isaiah 43:1-3

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you

as i think about all the places life could take me, i can’t think of better words to have written on my heart than these.  thank YOU for these words.  i will memorize them and tell them to myself as often as i need reminding that i have been bought, and the price was huge.

my backwards.

isaiah 42:18-25

Pay attention! Are you deaf? Open your eyes! Are you blind? You’re my servant, and you’re not looking! You’re my messenger, and you’re not listening! The very people I depended upon, servants of God, blind as a bat—willfully blind! You’ve seen a lot, but looked at nothing. You’ve heard everything, but listened to nothing. God intended, out of the goodness of his heart, to be lavish in his revelation. But this is a people battered and cowed, shut up in attics and closets, victims licking their wounds, feeling ignored, abandoned. But is anyone out there listening? Is anyone paying attention to what’s coming? Who do you think turned Jacob over to the thugs, let loose the robbers on Israel? Wasn’t it God himself, this God against whom we’ve sinned— not doing what he commanded, not listening to what he said? Isn’t it God’s anger that’s behind all this, God’s punishing power? Their whole world collapsed but they still didn’t get it; their life is in ruins but they don’t take it to heart.

this feels backwards. i know that it’s true. i feel that it is true.  everything about it.  growing up in the church, i would say that much of what is done to christendom in america is blamed on the heathens (druggies, rapists, homosexuals, democrats, etc.).  jacob was YOUR boy.  YOU chose him.  isreal is YOURS, and YOU let the robbers in.  YOU wanted them to get it.  YOU were willing to let their whole world collapse around them to set them straight and they still had more selfishness in them than obedience.

wherever i am ignorant, correct me.  open my eyes and my ears.  tune me to what is coming so i can pay attention.  ruin me so i can take heart.

my imitation

isaiah 40:23-24

He ignores what all the princes say and do. The rulers of the earth count for nothing. Princes and rulers don’t amount to much. Like seeds barely rooted, just sprouted, they shrivel when God blows on them. Like flecks of chaff, they’re gone with the wind.

i don’t remember the last time this verse was quoted at a National Day of Prayer, but it is a good reminder. I don’t want to work for anything in life that doesn’t matter for reals. Like for really reals. As cool as it sounds to be honored and revered and important enough to be made fun of on SNL, i hope that YOU don’t ignore what i say and do. let me take the humble path. let me be the servant. let me imitate YOUR son. let me not be fooled by celebrity. let me actively find ways to make myself less, give the advantage away and matter in YOUR kingdom rather than this world that shrivels at YOUR breath.

my shantytowns

isaiah 28:17

I’ll make justice the measuring stick and righteousness the plumb line for the building. A hailstorm will knock down the shantytown of lies, and a flash flood will wash out the rubble.

point me toward the chances i have today, the opportunities, the divine appointments for justice and righteousness.  help me to see the lies that have created shantytowns in my life.  i want to tear them down myself.  i give them up.  i don’t want to wait for the hailstorm.  for the flash flood.  i want to tear them down and get rid of the rubble.  don’t let me settle for less than what is just.  for less than what is right.  convict me.  direct me.  have YOUR way in me.

so i’ll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the ONE who gave it all
so i’ll stand
my soul LORD to YOU surrendered
all i am is YOURS
-Hillsong United

my attention

isaiah 26:10-12

If the wicked are shown grace, they don’t seem to get it. In the land of right living, they persist in wrong living, blind to the splendor of God. You hold your hand up high, God, but they don’t see it. Open their eyes to what you do, to see your zealous love for your people. Shame them. Light a fire under them. Get the attention of these enemies of yours. God, order a peaceful and whole life for us because everything we’ve done, you’ve done for us.

my temptation is to read this as if i know eactly who it is written to, those heathen/pagan type.  but when i honestly look at what is being said, i’m afraid it is written to me.  please let me get it.  i know YOU’ve shown me grace.  please, let me get it.  when YOU hold up YOUR hand, let me see it.  open my eyes to what YOU do.  don’t let me ask YOU why YOU love people that i don’t like.  ask me why i don’t love them.  shame me.  light a fire under me.  get my attention.  order a peaceful and whole life for me.  because everything i’ve done, YOU’ve done for me.  let me see YOUR hand as YOU hold it up high today.  let me in on YOUR zealous love for YOUR people.